10 Pro-tips for My Daughter on Her 1st Birthday
by Madison Chadwick Thomas
Happy birthday! As we celebrate you, I quietly reflect on who I have become in the past year: my days start earlier than they used to, I have to feed and bathe someone other than myself, most of my clothes don’t fit, and my hair is peppered with wiry, silver wisps. I’m also more patient, angrier at the world, and more hopeful that you will help to change it.
I wish I could say that after nearly 36 years on this planet I know what I’m doing, but I ABSOLUTELY don’t. However, along the way I have picked up some wisdom that I believe is worth sharing with you.
1) Read. Books, articles, blogs… absorb as much as you can. I don’t understand how there are people who don’t care to know more about literally anything. You can learn about urban farming and policing alternatives one day and get excited about dinosaur fossils the next. How cool is that?!
2) Do work that challenges you, but only for people who appreciate you. I’ve spent my entire adult life trying to define myself professionally, only to discover that this is the secret: I never feel more content than when faced with a project that seems difficult or unfamiliar, only to work my way through it successfully. But none of that matters if you’re working for someone who doesn’t value you. If you find yourself in that situation, don’t waste your time.
3) Just because it is on social media doesn’t mean it is true. This will seem like common sense to you eventually but WOW we are related to a lot of people who are students of Zuckerberg’s Facebook U.
4) Your feelings are valid. An old friend told me this once when we argued. It not only changed the way I interacted with people, but it also changed the way I perceived my own feelings. Feel whatever you feel and know that it is 100% okay while also being respectful of the way others feel (even if you can’t comprehend it).
5) Kiss a lot of frogs. Someday you’ll find your prince (or princess… or you may even decide that living solo with a couple of good boy dogs is your best bet). Enjoy yourself (SAFELY) as you figure it out.
6) Learn to tolerate discomfort. You were born with a certain level of privilege just because of who you are. Recognize that while also acknowledging that not everyone has what you do. Fight for those people. Have the hard conversations with those around you. Know that being vulnerable doesn’t mean you aren’t also strong.
7) Put your shopping cart away when you’re done. Don’t be an a**hole.
8) Respect all living things. Animals. Earth. People--we are so lucky to be surrounded by so many different and wondrous creatures. Celebrate the differences. Leave things better than you found them. (Global warming is real! Animals are going extinct! People need our help! Please tell me you get it!)
9) F*ck things up. This advice was given to me by my first employer out of college and has stayed with me. You’ll never learn faster than when you make mistakes, don’t be afraid to make a ton of them.
10) Never stop looking for what makes you happy. We only get one shot at life. You may have to try different thousands of different hobbies, multiple professions, and change your personal style over and over to figure out what works for you but keep looking. Only you know what is best, and I’ll be cheering you on.
